Numbers are Down!!!

I am pleased to announce that my latest lab values are showing improvement.  I have not been completely honest or revealing in my information in my posts in the last few months.  After my oncology visit in April, my oncologist was convinced my cancer was back because my CA125 tumor marker numbers had doubled.  There is some protocol in western medicine that says when the values double it means that the cancer is back.  My oncologist ordered a PET scan to assess my status.  I thought long and hard and decided I didn't want to have the PET Scan.  Many of you may not agree with this, which is why I was rather elusive in my post after my April Oncology visit.   I wanted the decision I made to be based on what I felt was right for me and not take in to consideration what other people thought or what they would do for themselves.  I also did not want FEAR to play a part in my decision making.  I strongly felt that I did NOT have cancer, and that if I did,  I probably would not take traditional treatments anyhow so felt the PET Scan would complicate things more than help.  I did several new treatments that helped more along the lines of energy medicine and working on things emotionally for me.  Of course, I continued to exercise, juice, detox and all of the other many modalities I continue to use day to day.
I thought the challenge of my increasing numbers was a big lesson in my journey. How easy is it for me to preach about achieving health through natural ways of treating the mind, body, and spirit when everything is fine and dandy?  I think it is pretty easy for a person to preach they are against some particular treatment when they are healthy enough to never have to make the decision to use that treatment.  When I was faced with the possibility of the cancer being back and had to decide what I felt was right for me, what would I choose? I STILL felt that what I was doing was the right thing.  Who knows, maybe the cancer was growing again and with the things I am doing it has now stopped growing?  Or maybe it was never growing back in the first place? But I do know that whatever inflammation caused my numbers to increase in the first place is now reversing so I will take that as a sign that I'm doing things that work for me in body, mind, and spirit.
Thank you all for being in my life. Until next time,
Denise

Happy Mother's Day

I'm laying in bed here with Oliver, appreciating being his mother.  Our family is off to the Santa Cruz area today to go to the beach, Gayle's bakery and possibly the flea market.  I hope whatever you are doing you are appreciating being a mom (if you are one) and/or you are appreciating your own mother.  Have a wonderful day.

Also as a reminder, here is the announcement that went out in the Stockton Record to publicize for my presentation at St Joseph's Hospital in Stockton if any of you who are local want to attend.

Special Presentation (May 16)

Treatment Beyond the Prescription Pad – (you do not need to be ill to benefit from this presentation!)

St. Joseph’s Medical Center will host Denise Southwick, Family Nurse Practitioner and cancer survivor, for an interactive presentation demonstrating tools to ‘wake up’ your life after receiving a life altering diagnosis. This free presentation will be held on Wednesday May 16, from 6-7:30 P.M. in St. Joseph’s Medical Center Auditorium (take elevators to bottom floor). No registration necessary.

For more information, call 467-6550 or email SJCancerInfo@dignityhealth.org.

Happy Mother's Day

Perspective

Isn't perspective nice.  We don't know good without knowing bad.  We don't know beauty without knowing ugly.  I had a moment yesterday that presented this lesson to me once again. I went in to the infusion center at Stockton Kaiser to have my port flushed.  This is something I have to do every 4 - 6 weeks to keep my port functional.  Reminders of cancer are never too far away, unless I purposely work on creating screens from my vision to help me see the people rather than the disease.
The infusion center is where I had all of my chemo treatments.  As I was walking out of the clinic I realized I had a huge smile on my face and felt so happy.  It was the dichotomy of the present compared with how I left that clinic a year ago.  It was the wonderful feeling of being able to just go to the appointment by myself, to actually drive myself there and drive myself home.  It was being able to walk in AND OUT of the building on my own two feet, no wheelchair, no support from Jacqueline and my mother sandwiching me on both sides, no having to stop on the way to the parking lot due to not having the strength to make it in one stride, no feeling of of nearly passing out or extreme nausea.  
The wonderful feeling of walking into the clinic and having JoAnn, one of the nurses who administered my chemo many times, have a wonderful smile on her face to see me.  And to compliment me on how great I look and notice that I've lost weight. She even commented on how I lost the "moon face" caused by the steroids they administer to try to prevent your body from being killed "too much" from the chemo.  How lovely it was to only be there for 15 minutes, compared to walking in the clinic at the beginning of the day and leaving at the end.  I didn't need to take multiple bags as if I was camping for the weekend.
Please do something each day to be grateful for what you do have rather than what you feel is missing in your life.  As you do this, it will also serve as a reminder to me to continue to see life this way.  Life is so much more beautiful when you're trying to see all that is right with it.  Consider your perspective.
Love to you all,
Denise

Treat-Meant for You Day

Oliver and I participated in St Joseph's Treat-meant for you day for anyone diagnosed with cancer in the past year or currently in treatment.  It was a beautiful sunny day.  Oliver was so good with all the participants and so willing to give love to anyone who showed interested.  I also made a presentation on the meaning of cancer and forgiveness.  It went pretty well.
My next presentation will be Wednesday, May 16th at St Joseph's if anyone is interested in attending. It is from 6-7:30 and I will be talking about: Treatment Beyond the Prescription Pad.
I continue to juice and drink green smoothies.  I'm also cutting back on gluten more and more.  I really don't think I have a gluten issue but my blood tests continue to show high inflammation so that is my next step in changing my nutrition.  I'm eating about 75% or so raw and very rarely any processed foods.  I find doing one thing at a time, either taking away something or adding in something one by one has been helpful for me.  Dad and I are in the process of planting a garden.  My cucumber and spinach seedlings are starting to come up.  We already have strawberries and parsley producing.  YEA!!!
I'm considering putting on a fire-walking event.  If anyone is interested in attending, please let me know.  They historically are very powerful, potentially life changing events for people.  Some of you may have seen Oprah walk with Tony Robbins.  A gentleman I met at Jack Canfield's seminar in 2009 is a facilitator so he is helping me start the planning. Should be fun.  I will keep you posted on all the details.
Please keep in touch and thank you for being in my life.
Denise

Update

Hello to anyone out there who is still following my blog.  I hope there are some of you out there still.  I am doing well.  As far as my physical health goes, I continue to see my surgical oncologist on a monthly basis.  I continue to have normal exams, but unfortunately my CA125 blood test continues to rise.  My pain that started most of this work-up is almost completely gone.  Not sure if that is due to decreasing my intake of nuts (almonds) but could be linked.  I have another blood test and exam next week.
I have been offered a 20 hour position in Fremont Kaiser which means I will soon have benefits.  The job is the same as I'm doing now but will now be guaranteed hours and the very nice benefit package to go along with it.  Very reassuring for me to soon have that in place.
Oliver and I are making pet therapy visits a few times/month and getting more relaxed with it.
I am speaking this Saturday at St Joseph's Treat-meant for You day for people diagnosed with cancer in the past year or currently in treatment.  I will be speaking on forgiveness.  Oliver will also be there with me for Pet Therapy.  It will be a wonderfully rewarding day.
All in the family are well.  Rileigh will be coming home soon for the summer.  Robert is going to Peru at the end of the month for a vacation.  Dana and Bobby are working hard to pay for Rileigh's college and have found a good balance of playing hard too when they have a day off together.  They are taking a trip to Vegas at the end of the month to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary.  Dad is playing softball again.  Mom is keeping busy on the house and taking classes to further her spiritual growth.
I was dedicated enough to finally write out my goals for the year with action plans on how to achieve them all.  One goal is to continue to do this blog every 3-4 weeks if not on a more consistent basis.  I hope all of you will keep me on track with that goal.
Please be well and keep in touch,
Denise

Tax Season and Mind/Body/Spirit Presentations

Many of you, I'm sure, dread doing your tax work like I do.  Even though I don't enjoy it, it is not usually something I procrastinate.  Most years I have my taxes done by mid Feb.  This year has been different.  I have put it off and put it off and put if off.  A few nights ago, I finally was able to make myself sit down and work on some of it.  I soon realized why I had such a procrastination block.  Obviously, I have significant health bills, receipts, miles to track and such for my 2011 year of treatment.  As I was going through receipt and receipt after receipt of all of my visits I began to cry.  By looking at all those receipts, I was reliving the year of feeling so awful and it wasn't so pleasant.  My procrastination had a real reason behind it.  My taxes are still not done, in fact I'm suppose to be working on them now.  So, as you can see, I continue to procrastinate a bit with it.  But now I allow myself some of the delay because I better understand what's behind it.  

On a brighter note, I had the opportunity to give a presentation on Mind/Body/Spirit yesterday to a local Women's Shelter.  It was great.  I spent a good deal of time over the past 10 days working on the presentation and it was very well received.  My mom was kind enough to go with me and video the presentation so I can use it as a critiquing tool to see how I can make it better.  My next presentation will be in April at the St. Joseph's Treatment for You Day which is a "spa day" for anyone diagnosed with cancer in the past year.  If you know anyone who has been diagnosed in the past year and lives in this area, let me know and we will get them signed up.  

And for those of you who aren't on Facebook and don't already know: Oliver and I became certified as a Pet Therapy Dog Team.  We are waiting for our national certification to come in the mail, but once it does we can officially make visits on our own.  We are currently scheduled to appear at the Treatment for You day that I mentioned above.  Yea!  We have a graduation picture that I'm hoping to get through email and then I'll post it here for everyone to see. 

Love to you all

Denise

Perspective and Appreciation

Good February day to all.
Just wanted to say a few words about gratitude for the small things that can sometimes be overlooked.  I recently was sick with the flu.  After being sick for a few days I decided to attempt a short walk with Oliver.  About half way through the walk (and in the back of the orchard) I felt very tired and was ready to be done.  I immediately turned to negative self-talk and said I shouldn't have gone so far.  But, I'm happy to say I quickly corrected myself and said...remember when you could only walk to the neighbors house, or only down the street, or needed help with a person on each side holding my arms to get through a walk.  Then I realized all of that was only a year ago.  It brought a smile to my face.  In a years time how far I've come.  This is the perspective in which I want to see things and live my life.  Thank you for the opportunity to choose to walk ON MY OWN.  Thank you for the beautiful almond blossoms on the trees that provide a surreal scenery in which to walk, aroma and all.

To give you update on the other things going on....

I am changing jobs to Kaiser Walnut Creek.  I will still be working Perioperative medicine but this job is a 20 hour position so will have benefits.  YEA!!!  My days of paying Cobra are soon to end.  I have a very good feel about the environment and the people I will be working with.

I am also becoming more involved in St Joseph's cancer program.  Jim Linderman is the head of the cancer center and him and I have had several discussions about my vision of a wellness center.  He has offered me 3 different opportunities to help move me in that direction.  I will be presenting as one of the breakout sessions at St Joseph's Treat-ment for You Day.  This is a day of pampering for people diagnosed with cancer in the past year or two  They offer help with diagnoses, massages, manicures, and good fun energy with others with cancer.  I will also be presenting a 90minute workshop/class at St Josephs in the spring.  And just today he asked if I would make a 30 min presentation and one of the Women's shelter in the area in March.  All of this is extremely anxiety provoking but also the direction I would like to take so I'm pushing myself beyond the fear.

As far as my health.  I continue to feel good.  The left lower quadrant pain comes/goes.  I had yet another visit with my surgical oncologist.  My exam remains normal, other than the left sided pain. But my Ca-125 values continue to creep up.  My level is now 30.  So I've gone from 6 (post chemo) to 30 two weeks ago.  I decided to continue and wait so we will repeat another blood test and exam in 4 weeks (March 15th).  I continue to juice twice daily, green smoothie once daily, exercise, and eat mostly raw/whole foods.  I attended a Women's Wellness nutritional conference put on by David Wolfe's Longevity Now for 4 days in Costa Mesa which was wonderful.

I hope you are all doing well.  Thank you for your support,
Denise