8/20/2013
Finishing chemo and having a clear pet scan are huge reasons to celebrate. Many people think this is the end of the road in healing, so to speak, and all should be normal again after that point.
Cancer is a symptom of the systems in the body that malfunctioned. Chemo is a survival mechanism to rid the body of the cancer. True healing to restore normal function begins after the survival techniques are successful (a cancer free body). So my journey of health is only just beginning.
I saw my surgical oncologist last week. It was the first time I have seen her since she diagnosed me with cancer in October. I gave her the book Divine Matrix by Gregg Braden. The book bridges the concepts of science and the power of the mind and belief. I told her that I hoped it would help her understand some of the things I do that may seem crazy. She was quick to say that nobody can say what I do is crazy because I'm sitting here and the odds said I shouldn't be. It made me realize that even though she's always supported me that she really did fear I would die this time. She helped to validate my strong desire to feel great again and reminded me to be patient with myself saying it takes about six months after chemo to have good energy and stamina again.
I started swimming laps at the gym pool to help get in shape. I've always swam freestyle. Because my cardio fitness is so depleted I decided to swim a backstroke lap in the mix every few laps to catch my breath. I fumbled with the backstroke and had to adjust my technique to prevent from splashing a bunch of water up my nose. Naturally my eyes focused up, but on the part of the ceiling that was in front of me, in the direction of the rest of my body. I realized if I focus my eyes upward, like I’m looking toward the top of my head (in the direction that I’m swimming) that the stroke seems smoother. I've never considered myself a strong swimmer and know very little about proper swim strokes.
This change in backstroke technique reminded me how to maneuver in life also. When the focus is on where we’ve been, looking into the past, then things can be more difficult (i.e. water splashes into my nose). When the focus is mostly straight up (in the present) and slightly forward to where I’m headed then life is more manageable.
Rather than dwell on what I’ve endured over the past few months, I’m headed on a new journey. I leave tomorrow for the most incredible healing journey that includes wildlife, adventure, nature, and sacred ancestral experiences. I look forward to sharing this life defining experience with you when I return.
Once again, thank you for your love, prayers, and support.
In love and health,
Denise
